I no longer lie in bed in a cold sweat with thoughts of coffee swirling and swelling in my aching head at night. Instead, I lie in bed with a hot cup of tea–usually of the herbal, green, or chamomile variety–wishing sometimes that tea had less of a tea taste and more of a coffee taste. You can’t win them all, I suppose. But let me tell you what temporarily changed my tune.
I watch Dr. Drew on Thursday nights because I’m oddly attracted to this intelligent, older silver fox. Kind of gross. But I digress. As I watched a re-run of Dr. Drew rehabilitating these has-been celebrities with addictions last night, I was able to make some connections. I saw Andy Dick talk about how he just couldn’t quit his addiction. I watched Mary Carey (not Mariah, Mary–she’s a retired porn star) struggle with her cravings of her drug of choice. Then, it hit me. I was comparing myself to a retired porn star and Andy Dick.
I do believe it was then that I believe I almost completely stopped craving coffee.
In the same way that people make their kids quit griping about how hungry for McDonald’s they are by bringing up starving Ethiopians, I was able to stop complaining about coffee for a good day or so (a record, believe me) by thinking, “I mean, it could be worse. I could be Andy Dick.”
Until another decaffeinated day, dear diary…
Kittens, cupcakes, and toothy grins,