Screw You, Quintessential Evil Kickball Team

I wrote this post a few days ago, but for some reason I left it as a draft on my blog account and never published it:

Ladies and gentleman, the kickball season that will be talked about for ages, the ever-resilient team, “Sit on My Base,” is on its way to making a comeback.

After a 10-2 loss against Please Not on My Face during week one, a 5-11 win over Wii Not Fit, and the nail-biting 6-4 loss against Shiners Saloon Sh!t Talkers, Sit on My Base is pumped and ready to go against Fat Jesus Wolfpack this Thursday at 8:10 p.m. at Richard Moya Park. It is in my esteemed opinion that my team, “Sit on My Base, will triumph over Fat Jesus Wolfpack, which holds a three-game winning streak, because we have heart. That, and the opposing team’s name rings blasphemous. So, I think it’s safe to say that the Big Man upstairs is on our side.*

Come support your favorite Austin Sports and Social League kickball team… Sit on My Base!

Sit on My Base

Err, last night, Sit on My Base lost to Fat Jesus Wolfpack 14-2. Ouch…

But let explain something here. This opposing team was quintessential evil team: everyone sporting black team shirts, faces with expressions that ranged from sober to angry, and not an alcoholic beverage in sight (this is a drinking league, after all). Fat Jesus Wolfpack has beat every team it’s come up against by at least ten runs. TEN RUNS. Freakin’ beasts.

Meanwhile, Sit on My Base team members were drinking (my dear amiga mejor showed up tanked, in fact), spittin’ rhymes, dancing to music, and looking very jubilant in our lemon yellow team shirts. As another friend and teammate of mine said, we were like the Mighty Ducks; all we were missing was Emilio Estevez.

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6 Comments

Filed under Blogger, Food and Drink, Personal, Sports

6 responses to “Screw You, Quintessential Evil Kickball Team

  1. Please refrain from posting inaccurate comments like the one noted below. We had plenty to drink before, during and after the game!

    “not an alcoholic beverage in sight (this is a drinking league, after all)” = BULLSHIT FACTS

  2. Quintessentially Evil Kickball Team

    FYI – we bring a minimum of 2 cases of beer to every game for 10 players, and some smoke cigarettes on the field. We also drink quite a bit before leaving the house while waiting for the carpool. However, we will agree the black t-shirts are a bit evil. The team name is from the Hangover, the big man knows we’re making fun of the movie and not him 😉

    Signed-
    Quintessentially Evil Kickball Player

  3. Pitcher

    Haha…somehow one of our players came across this post!
    You got us all wrong, we’re not a bunch of sober, evil, jesus-haters…we usually put back 2 cases a game, make cookies for the opposing team, and appreciate the Jesus.

  4. I promise, I come in peace, ha.

    • Evil First Baseman

      Love your blog doll!!

      I will say that I own the First Base, it is my domain. As I see the batter bunt directly to the pitcher or SS, he rockets the ball over to me. You silly runner, you think you can enter my zone and be ‘safe’. Although I see 3 of you running toward me (I have drank 8 beers by now) I only must stop one of you! That’s right, the one in the middle! You are OUT!

      I must warn you, Runner, that you must lean to the right as you approach the base; I do not want to burn you with my cigarette by mistake.

      Take Care “Sit on my Base”

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