Tag Archives: Drive Through

I Curse the Day McDonald’s Was Contrived

Let me tell you about the morning I had today.

I had a huge exam scheduled today (I did very well on it–thank you for wondering). I took the first two hours off of my morning shift at work so that I would have that little extra time to continue going over my notes for the test.

Before I headed to work, I decided to reward myself for studying so diligently with a delicious, healthy breakfast. Since I didn’t have time for that, I had to settle for McDonald’s. I didn’t mind too much, though. I love their coffee and for whatever reason, I’m slightly addicted to their sausage biscuit with egg. I’m never content after I eat one of those things (it always feels like I have grease slathered all over my body after I eat one of those things), but I figured that I just needed to eat something.

So I pull up to the drive-through…

“I’d like a number four please.”
“A number four?”
“Yes.”
“A sausage biscuit with egg?”
(Long, irritated pause.)
“Yes. A sausage biscuit with egg please. I’d like a coffee with that.”
“What would you like to drink with that ma’am?”
(A deep breath as to not scream.)
“…Coffee.”
“OK, ma’am. That’s a number four with a coffee. Would you like cream or sugar?”
“No, thanks. That’s all.”
“Alright. That’ll be $3.46. Please pull up to the first window.”

So, I did as she said. Now, let me preface the rest of the story by mentioning that I was armed with only a $20 bill and a cup of pennies, nickles, and dimes (all the coins that the insolent laundry machine at my apartment complex won’t take). I pick out four dimes, a nickle, and a penny. Andrew Jackson accompanies the loose change. I pull up to the first window.

“$3.46, please, m’am.”

I hand the bill and change to the girl in the window, who does “her thing” (her thing being pressing some buttons on the register, making changed, tearing off a receipt). She hands me a wad of bills.

“Thank you ma’am. Please pull around.”
“Thanks.”

The woman at the second window hands me a bag and a cup of coffee. I take the goods, thank her, and begin to drive off. As I went to stuff the wad of bills back into my wallet, I realize I only got $7 back. I did not just pay $13.46 for something that will probably add two solid pounds of lard to my back end.

I immediately back up (no one was behind me–no worries, people). I told the woman that I gave the girl at the register a $20, and she hadn’t given me enough change back. I just needed a $10 bill. She told me to pull into the parking space labeled for “drive through waiting.” OK…

Twenty-two minutes later (oh yes, you bet I counted), I just about break my car door opening it so I can get out of the freakin’ vehicle and pummel every McDonald’s customer. I walk up to the counter and demand that they give me my change now and that I am tired of waiting for these people to give me my correct change.

“Oh, yeah! We totally forgot. Here…”

The moron opens her register, and hands me a $10 bill.

I hate you, McDonald’s.

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