Tag Archives: Steven Hawking

Jessica Simpson Defies All Logic

Because watching her slow quick descent into a burning inferno of used-to-be-stardom isn’t painful enough, Jessica Simpson decided that the best idea to rebound after those rabid weight-gain photographs would be by making Daisy Duke cut-offs a regular part of her performance wardrobe.

Gads! Have I been entirely unaware for all this time that resembling a two-hooved country beast can resurrect careers?! Maybe showing those massive, old gams of hers will make people forget that she’s old and chubby now, and they will finally listen to her music.

That’s acutally probably a bad idea as well.

Jessica Simpson

By the way, I’d like to note that Jessica Simpson’s ankles have defied all laws of physics in this photograph by somehow supporting that much hair weave, weight, and glittered makeup while only having the support of a pair of flimsy hooker heels. What have you to say to that, Steven Hawking?

(Photograph: The Superficial)

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