Jeni O. Presents: Real Celebs of Genius
(Real Celebs of Genius!)
Today we salute you. Ms. Avril Rock-Your-Face-Off Lavigne.
(Ms. Avril Rock-Your-Face-Off Lavigne!)
Wearing your classiest black and white striped hoochie ensemble and terribly dyed hair, you’re living the real life rocker dream.
Getting paid to show up at events to do what no one else could do… drink yourself stupid and slutty
(Why you have to go and make things so complicated?!)
Sure it may hurt your career, alienate your young fans, ruin your “voice,” or demolish your marriage to that Sum 41 troll, but you chug alcohol from a bottle being held by a stranger with class and motherf*ckin’ grace.
(Grace motherf*ckuuhh)
But your keen instincts tell you to stick to activities that involve a lot of blacking out and rocking out. And if that doesn’t work, who cares? You’re a motherf*ckin princess.
(Rock on!)
So crack open a bottle of liquor, oh Lover of Sk8ter Boiz. ‘Cause we all know, you’re too cool to give a f*ck.
(Ms. Avril Rock-Your-Face-Off Lavigne!)
[Photo courtesy of The Blemish]
Jennifer Obenhaus 